Movin' 2: Electri-- Motherfucker, I hate that joke, why are you using it?
So, on the Monday we were to move into the new place Adrienne calls the realtor about getting the keys and he tells her that the tennants shitted the place up pretty bad, but that they'd been in to clean it every day since they'd moved out (3 days). This last part gave us hope that the house wouldn't smell like cat piss and cigarette smoke. Actually, it didn't. In fact, we had no idea the place would smell of cigarette and piss (from Chanel). But smell of cigarette and cat piss it did. Among other things. Turns out the previous tenants also had a rabbit. And a dog. All God's creatures done pissed in this house (including skank-ass Madonna, which we can't confirm but can safely assume). After several Febrezings and sprinkling magic carpet dust and vacuuming it up, the smell has somewhat abated, but that may just be that I'm getting used to it. And then there were the many tiny holes in the walls and ceilings, and the basement that was partially flooded because the guys before us managed to clog the drain for the A/C condensation. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET CAT HAIR IN THAT DRAIN? It's in the utility room, a room in which a cat has no business. And the 2 feet by 1 foot hole in the drywall in the living room. And the safety orange spraypaint stain in the second bedroom! WHY WERE YOU SPRAYPAINTING IN YOUR BEDROOM? MORON! I'm bored. I want hamburgers. Screw you guys, I'm out of here.
- Francis performed this service for you at 7:32:00 PM